77. Chicas (Bariloche, Argentina)
Argentina has the most beautiful girls in the world.
Actually, I don't think that even counts as a myth. I'd never heard that before I came here, and I don't think many Argentinians would claim it was true. I think maybe a mechanic or waiter told me that "fact" after I'd been here a month, and it stuck with me. Update: Or maybe I heard it through the mainstream media.
What I did hear before I came here, from various sources (mostly online and mostly tourists), was that Argentine women are the most beautiful in South America. And when I arrived and checked into a hostel, a lot of the gringo guys were going on about how hot Argentine girls were. Yet I wasn't seeing it at all. I'd just spent the last year and a half living in Sydney, which is full of beautiful people of all colours and sizes. As well as classic natural blonde suntanned look, there's plenty of other interesting racial combinations and complexions thrown in. And not to mention a neverending supply of European backpackers hanging out on the beaches. So in those early days I'd wander around Buenos Aires and not see anything exciting. All the girls looked identical - short, skinny, pale skin, dark hair,
After a couple of weeks I'd gotten used to the homogenous Argentine look, and the pretty girls started to stick out from crowd. But it took some getting used to. I think a lot of the guys in the hostels who were raving about Argentine beauties had just arrived from a few months on the road in Peru and Bolivia, where the people have more indigenous blood. They probably hadn't had any action for a few months.
The girls here do look after themselves. On just about every block there'll be a waxing and nails joint, as well as numerous peluquerías (hair salons). They eat little in order to try stay slim. My girlfriend, a waitress, would often be amazed at the quantity of food foreign girls would order for lunch. They are quite girly too - I've never seen a girl (or a guy either) walking down the street here in bare feet (que sucio!). Or a girl in her pajamas buying milk on a Sunday morning - both of which I saw when I went back to NZ. Daytime TV is full of ads for the latest slimming cream or anti-cellulite massage treatment (whatever). I mentioned in my last post how plastic surgery is popular in Buenos Aires. It all adds up - the girls here are slim, but homogenous.
Last month we saw Miss Universe 2006 on TV. Of the final ten contestants, five were from Latin America (Bolivia(!), Colombia, Mexico, Paraguay, Puerto Rico) and only one was from Europe (Switzerland). So either there's something in the genes down here that makes people good looking, or there's more of a beauty industry that makes beauty contestant a viable career path. Maybe a bit of both.
So, what's the typical Argentinan girl look like? Let's check out the stars of El Tiempo No Para, a homegrown nightly soap opera. To me, the girls in that show are typical Argentine girls. I don't think any of them are particularly hot. Hmm... the only thing pics I can find are the press photos which are heavily photoshopped, but anyway.
Belen Blanco and Sofía Castiaglone
Dolores Fonzi and Valentina Bassi
One thing Argentina has no shortage of is the model/wannabe actress. Many aspire to be a vedette, a star in a stage musical. The vedette will usually dance and sing as part of the show, always wearing as little clothing as possible. From vedette they might land a TV gig, often through ridiculous Benny Hill-like comedy shows (latest version: Canal 9's nightly Palermo Hollywood Hotel), where the only requirement is to smile and show cleavage.
Here's some pics of other famous Argentine models. As you can see, many subscribe to the bleach blonde, fake tits look imported from Baywatch, and are very atypical of what Argentine girls naturally look like. Thanks to Hombre Magazine for the pics.
Jessica Cirico and Karina Jelinek
Nicole Neumann and Sabrina Rojas
Myth number 28:
Latin girls are just hanging out for gringo guys
I don't know where I got this myth from. Maybe it was from the same sources as the last myth. Maybe movies. Maybe locker room talk in backpacker hostels. Whatever the case, my girlfriend tells me that Argentine girls aren't any more interested in an unknown foreign guy than an unknown local guy. The fact that you're a rubio (blond) guy in a land of morrochos (dark-hairs) doesn't mean anything here. Argentine girls are NOT looking for a "ticket to the first world"!
So, how does one pull an Argentine girl? Well, I'm no expert but every now and then an excited reader about to arrive in BA writes me and asks just that. Firstly, girls in clubs tend to be quite picky and hard to approach, which I blame on the ridiculously tactless behaviour of many Argentine guys. As many a foreign girl finds out on her first venture to a club, an Argentine guy's pick-up lines will often consist of just grabbing a girl who happens to look his way, and try to shove his tongue down her throat. Thus girls often won't even make eye-contact in clubs for fear of being accosted. Argentines girls (and guys) don't drink a lot either, so waiting for them to get drunk and desperate isn't such an option. Still, you can offer to buy them a drink and use that to start a conversation. Maybe she'll find your attempts at Spanish endearing. Maybe she'll find it annoying. Maybe she'll speak English. Either way, keep the conversation going and have fun. If there's chemistry and you're still talking to her half an hour later you're being a gentleman by Argentine standards - most Argentine guys would attempt to kiss the girl within the first 5 minutes, so now's the time to make your move. If you wait much longer she'll probably think you're not interested, or gay, and she'll move on. If all goes to plan you'll probably end up spending the rest of the night making out very publicly in the club. Don't get excited though - the one-night-stand isn't so common here. Even if you do pull a girl at a club and pass a couple of hours kissing her, you may only end up getting her phone number. She's just as likely to not give it despite a couple of hours of PDA tonsil-hockey. If you get lucky and get the number, you'll still have to call her up and make another date and take it from there. If you don't get the number it means she didn't like you that much - or maybe she has a boyfriend. The one-night-stand does happen, but it depends on the girl. The group of girls out celebrating something and having a good time on a big night out make for a better target than the lone girl standing on the dancefloor with her arms crossed.
Anyway, pulling in the club is hard work. You're likely to have more luck in your hostel, or on the street playing the lost tourist asking for directions. Many guys who come here don't have much luck with Argentinian girls at all, and will only manage to hook up with foreign girls in their hostel. Being able to speak some Spanish helps a lot.
While writing this post I asked my Argentinian friends what they think of foreign guys, and what do they look for in a man. Most of the foreign guys they see (in the street etc) they don't find attractive. They say that extranjeros (foreign guys) often have uninteresting faces, and that they wander around in tourist mode looking carefree, and a little lost. What they want in a man, is firstly a caballero (a gentleman). Becoming a caballero has been a learning curve for me, as I admit I wasn't one. The part I most wasn't used to was paying for everything when we went out. If you're travelling on a tight budget going out with a local girl is a sure-fire way to blow it. And asking her to pay for anything is a sure-fire way to blow it with her.
Secondly, they want a cojedor (a shagger). The guy has to have a look on his face that says he wants to rip her clothes off any minute. Every minute. So the play it cool, act a little uninterested strategy won't work. Here she'll think you are uninterested.
I am a guy from Holland and I HAD a Argentinean girlfriend for 4,5 months, until she broken up with me almost 2 weeks ago. I am a bit desperate to get her back, so I am just asking for any tips you (or possibly even better: your Argentinean girlfriend) can give me...?Well Dave, it's a little hard to offer any advice without knowing you, or your girlfriend, or why she dumped you. If you can combine the 2 Cs of caballero and cojedor you won't have any trouble with the girls.
So, what about my female readers out there. What's the deal with Argentinian guys? The two Argentine galáns (hunks) of the moment, according to my girlfriend, are Pablo Echarri and Facundo Arana. Man, this is getting tiring searching for all these pics. Facundo's been the easiest since he has his own fansite.
As for dating Argentine men, well I'll leave that up to Deby over at TangoSpam to explain it.